A Confident Heart Blog Hop - Week 4
His Goodness Makes Me Good Enough
I started this Proverbs 31 Online Bible study about a month ago. It has been and continues to be a fun way to keep the topics covered during the study at the forefront of my mind. I like to sit down at the beginning of the week and read the week's chapter(s), make a few journal notes about the memory verse and the hashtag of the week (this week's is #WhoIam). I get emails from the hostesses of the studies with videos that make me reflect and think about the reading for the week.
This week we're reading chapter four of the book, titled "When Doubt Whispers 'I'm Not Good Enough.'" The memory verse is John 1:2 Yet to all who did receive Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God.
One of the assignments, if you will is to write about what are of my life I feel not good enough and to write a letter to myself as a reminder that because of Jesus I am good enough. Here goes:
I have been a full time telecommuter since 2007, shortly after my husband and I got married. I don't remember much about my homemaking in the beginning. What I do know is that I often get frustrated with myself, to the point of tears, wondering, "How do NORMAL people (as in, people with normal, have to get dressed and go to work jobs) do it!?" I don't understand how I could ever get my kid fed and dressed and out the door on time and still have time to actually shower, dress, and feed myself, and still allow time to wait patiently in the carpool lane.
Then there's all the errands that have to be run (I am so grateful my husband takes care of that stuff), laundry to be washed, folded, and put away! Meals to plan, shop for, and prepare...and I don't even have to pack lunches for the little on yet!
I am so grateful for the opportunity to work from home, because I don't see how I could do it all any other way!
That, my friends, is the "Readers Digest version." I can get really worked up and deeply depressed about what a failure I am on a daily basis if I'm not careful. My husband breathes deeply and I assume he's disappointed in something I haven't done. He has NEVER said anything to make me feel this way. I talk myself into thinking he thinks I'm in adequate! It's quite silly, really. I mean, I know I could certainly do all those things if I had to. But I don't have to, so I don't.
Ok, now for the letter to myself. This is going to feel silly, but it's the assignment, so here goes:
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. I created you. I knew what kind of mother and wife you were going to be, long before your parents even considered starting a family. You have a unique situation. I put people in your path while you were pregnant and worrying about things that will probably never happened when Miss M gets older. They pointed out that you grow with her. When the time comes for packing lunches and waiting in the carpool lane, you will be ready. That, or you'll have the Mister do it. ;) I had a plan when I introduced you to him, too, you see! Please, stop beating yourself up about the wife and mother you are not, and focus on the wife and mother that you are, the one you are growing into.
Husbands and children do not come with instructions. That's because it's so much more interesting to learn as you go, hands-on, and get a little messy in the process. You're doing fine. Your husband loves you very much. So does your daughter, So do I.